I'm might be changing jobs. I'm very excited. I'm scared to death. I'm excited to possibly go to a new job. I'm sad to leave my current job. All at the same time. Best decision ever? Worst? We shall see.
First, some history. One of the schools in our school district has been deemed a failing school. Test scores have fallen and morale is low. Last spring the principal of that school decided to step down and return to the classroom. The district decided it was time to make some major changes in hope of turning the school around. The principal of our school, L was chosen to lead the new school. We were very sad to see her go. She was, and is, a great boss. As part of this change, the call went out to staff of the whole school district, "We are making great changes at O Elementary. If you want to come and help change the world, let us know." A few people from our school, and staff from all over the district decided to help O be the best it can be. I volunteered to go to O and take over the library there. My principal said she would love to take me. The district decided not to make any support staff changes as there was going to be so much change in other places. So, I stayed in my current job, which, I might add, I love.
Fast forward to Christmas break. The current Library Manager of O Elementary died suddenly and very unexpectedly. This leaves an opening for the very position I volunteered to move to last spring. Should I go? Should I leave? I have started so many new projects at my current job and I'm really happy now. I decided that if they asked me to go, I would say no.
Then, they actually asked me. Well, not they exactly, but some people did.
The new district librarian said she thought it would be great for me to come. (Not that she has any say in who the principal ultimately picks) My really good friend Mara, who had moved over this fall, really wanted me to come. But I could have said no to all of that, had they not played dirty.
The district librarian, Riva, and I have been exchanging emails about new ideas we would like to implement at our schools and changes we would like to make if we had the time and permission. Riva says, "Jill, L says the new person and I can make any changes we want. We could build this library to be anything we want. We could pilot all those ideas we've been talking about. We could really make a difference there!"
Well.
I said I would think about it. I called my sister and asked her advice. I called my dad and asked his advice. I talked for a very long time with my husband. I even asked my kids' opinion.
I have a lot of flaws in my life, but I am really good at my job. I LOVE what I do. I have a passion for books and kids and literacy for kids. I think libraries play a huge role in academic achievement. Even though I am not a licensed librarian, I have worked hard to make my current library part of the academic achievement of my students. Increasing circulation of books. Increasing the diversity of the collection. Supporting the reading goals that are being taught in the classrooms. Working hard at matching each kid with the perfect book. And, hopefully, inspiring a love of books.
My sister said, "You have been given skills and gifts and you need to use them to bless other people. Go bless the kids at O."
My dad said, "You're good at your job? Maybe you should go out and prove it."
My husband said, "I'll support you no matter what you do. And either school you work at, kids win." (See why I married him?)
My kids said, "Yeah, whatever."
Not really, they said I should go for it.
So, I went and visited the new school (I had never been there), scoped out the library, ran into friends I knew who I didn't realize worked there. And decided. I would apply.
Now, I'm in limbo and on an emotional roller coaster. They have to post the position and I'm not really talking about applying until it is officially posted and I've actually applied. So, no one at my current job knows I'm thinking of leaving. But I do. Every time some kid comes and talks to me I think about leaving them. Some fellow staff member asks about my weekend and I think about all the friends I have there and I get sad. Then, Reva emails me about some idea we could try and I get excited again. The going is exciting. The leaving is sad.
But either way, I may be embarking on a big new adventure. Follow along.
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